


Sirius Black Got Way Too Lucky

by d27dyer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Go listen to Broken Melody on Apple Music, Multi, So there you go, Songfic, Soundcloud, Spotify, This isn't my usual style, and Deezer, but it was requested of me by the artist himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23618164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d27dyer/pseuds/d27dyer
Summary: In his 6th year, Sirius had a night that he'd want to remember forever. Unfortunately, he didn't and what his marauder pals know is neither a good retelling nor an accurate one.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Florence (Harry Potter), Sirius Black/Lucinda Talkalot
Kudos: 1





	Sirius Black Got Way Too Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its subsidiaries. That honor belongs to J.K.R.
> 
> I do not own the song Too Lucky. That belongs to the artist Broken Melody.

The song is  _ Too Lucky _ by Broken Melody

Available on Apple Music, Spotify, Soundcloud, and Deezer

* * *

It’s a casual Saturday night, more like Sunday morning, when Sirius re-enters the 6th-year dorm. Waiting up are both James, and Remus, Peter had long since passed out. 

“All hail the conquering hero!” exclaimed James as Sirius stumbled in.

“What happened, last we knew you were going to stop by the kitchens for a slightly post-curfew snack? Now you look like you just shagged half of Hogwarts” asked Remus, a mixture of worry and curiosity evident in his voice. 

“Not half of Hogwarts, though it certainly fucking felt like it. Lemme tell it to ya this way.”

_ I got 2 thotties.. _

_ 2 thotties, _

_ Lil bih gon Gimme good sloppy.. _

_ Ouuu mami, _

_ I be swimming in that punani.. _

_ Tsunami, _

“So? You’ve gotten two birds before,” said James flippantly.

“Yeah, but neither like these. Those gods damn snakes have a rep and damned if it ain’t fuckin’ earned.”

“Who?” asked Remus.

“None other than Florence and Lucinda. Back to back. Now, back to the story.”

_ Rubber on cuz bitches too thotty, _

_ Too cocky, _

_ Skirting off I needa Bugatti, _

_ She like ouuuu, _

_ When I pull up I be too icy, _

_ It be coldddd, _

“So far sounds like your usual MO my dude.”

“I know right?! But I swear to you, something bout these two was fuckin’ insane.”

“Sirius, you’re a literal dog. How long did those birds keep you?”

“I never even made it to the kitchens.”

Both James and Remus’ jaws hit the floor as Sirius continued his recanting of the night’s activities.

_ I be thinking I’m way too lucky I’m like woahhhh, _

_ Brotha wit me knock the tooth outcha don’t get bold, _

_ Fuck a nigga bish then skirt off, _

_ Don’t tell me you love me bish that’s a turn off, _

_ Word up, _

“No way! One right after the other?”

“Yeah man, like, not five minutes after I was done with Florence freakin’ Lucinda grabs me by my collar and hauls me into the nearest broom closet. I’m tellin’ ya, those Slytherin thots are a special kinda crazy.”

“Damn, what happened next?”

_ Keep me a rubber cuz bitches burning…  _

_ Ain’t Shooting shots at no thotty then bitches burners…  _

_ Niggas be opps they be watching they just be lurkin…  _

“Turns out, at about the fifth classroom we stopped in we had an audience, some seventh-yea 'Claws that were all too eager to sit and watch.”

“Du~de, that’s fuckin’ wild.”

“That ain’t even the craziest thing though.”

_ When I pulled up she was all up on me, _

_ Told here put it on me, _

_ Young nigga wit a cooler on me, _

_ Bitch be drooling on me, _

“About five recastings later and I’m totally spent, barely standing on my feet with no sense of direction or time, and I had this idea that’s abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.”

“What was it?” asked James, eager to see how the story play’s out.

_ From the city where the shooters outy, _

_ Police moving rocky, _

_ Couple niggas inna coup we outy, _

_ Skirtin through the outty… _

“The ‘Claws joined in?”

“Yeah man, totally I was walkin’ out and all I said was ‘She’s all yours boys’ and managed to find my way up here without getting caught.”

“Shit man, I’d like to see that.”

“We can at least see if it’s still going on,” says James as he pulls out the  _ Maurader’s Map _ . 

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

As the ink spreads out like veiny tentacles across the well-worn parchment, all three of the boys huddle around it to see and see they do. For there, within an unused classroom on the third floor, lay the dots for Lucinda Talkalot, and several other names of some seventh years, all overlapping each other.

The conscious marauders all looked at each other with wide eyes and spent the rest of the night watching the map with wide eyes.


End file.
